Depression/Anxiety Joy Trials

Christmas Was My Security Blanket

Christmas is a time of coziness; a time of peace; a time of hope. But, as with all things, we can so easily allow it to take the place of what really matters. Learn more at ohbelovedone.com.

For me, anticipation of excitement is always better than the actual excitement. That’s why I love all of December way more than Christmas Day. That’s why on Christmas Eve, I’m already feeling a little sad: because I just can’t let go of the fact that all this joy is about to “go away.”

This year was hard. Like, gut-wrenchingly hard. It was kind of like soccer preseason: painful during, but worth it in the end because of the results. Thinking you’re going to die during, that you’re never going to make it out, but finally coming through and feeling stronger and having a bigger faith.

After such an interesting season, I was overjoyed for Christmas. This year, December was twice as merry and twice as hopeful.

The thing is, the darker our current state, the brighter the light that gives us hope.

I just need to make it to Christmas break,” I told myself in between finals. “Then there will be cake and family and presents and it’ll all be fine.”

Which was kind of true. But, I had set my joy on things like Christmas parties and trips to Dollywood. So, when those didn’t pan out (due to a whole lot of sickness UGHHHH), I was so tempted to throw a fit.

I felt I deserved all this after everything I’d been through.

But, God reminded me that Christmas isn’t about the activities. It’s not about the lights, not about the family trips, not about the parties. Not about finally not feeling alone. Not even about conquering another year.

It’s about holding hands with fellow Christians on Christmas Eve Eve and singing “Silent Night” acapella as the lights dim. It’s about promising to remember daily the miracle of Christ’s birth and His love for you.

It’s about realizing that, yeah, sometimes life is going to stink.

Really, really stink.

BUT, accepting that because you have an ultimate hope. You have an irrevocable, implanted purpose as a child of God which means that nothing you go through or do is in vain. No death, no loss, no grief; no mundane job, no sense of purposelessness, no broken dream is something you can’t recover from or be ashamed about.

Because Jesus was born to die for you to be born again and live forever.

So, enjoy Christmas. Don’t fear that it’s almost over and so is the safe, fuzzy feeling.

We have hope. We have peace. We have eternal Christmas.

Merry Christmas, sweet friends!! Thanks so much for an amazing year. We love each and every one of you so so much and appreciate all your love and support. <3

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